So from me personally to ERF, I apologise, if there was a way I could have stopped this person I would have. While I still believe you go way over the line, I do not believe you are an Elder, nor do you have the right to call yourself one, this person was wrong. I am truly sorry you had to be subjected to this. I would ask however, that you remember using Bonwits name to spam Daven's website. How do you think Bonwits felt that you had done so? There is a lesson in this for all of us. Yes, I do include myself in that statement.
A bully is a person who:
- refuses to acknowledge or accept responsibility for their behaviour and its consequences
- is primarily concerned with their own pleasure
- wants power over others, and is willing to use and abuse other people to get what they want.
- is consistent with whatever type of abuse they specialize in - it occurs every time you see them, and not just when they are in a bad mood
- is unwilling to recognize that there could be better ways of behaving. Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; they have to have someone to bully and appear to be unable to survive without a current target.
Now, this is interesting because of late several folk I know, including myself have been branded as bullies. So, I needed to go look for myself, am I really a bully?
Based on what I've found, no, I don't believe I qualify, though I can see how one might think so. I can see though that some of the tactics used in the quest to get ERF to accept responisiblity for his words, deeds and behavior are bullying. That disturbs me, and I need to reflect more on that.
Part of the reason I removed myself to this blog is because I felt that the people I was watching and commenting on were actually trolls. (more on trolls in a later blog). But after more research I'm finding that while the one person I've been watching and commenting on the most, ERF, may very well be a troll, he also has serious mental health issues. Namely, Narcissistic Personality disorder.
An interesting article on Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
"The most telling thing that narcissists do is contradict themselves. They will do this virtually in the same sentence, without even stopping to take a breath. It can be trivial (e.g., about what they want for lunch) or it can be serious (e.g., about whether or not they love you). When you ask them which one they mean, they'll deny ever saying the first one, though it may literally have been only seconds since they said it -- really, how could you think they'd ever have said that? You need to have your head examined! They will contradict FACTS. They will lie to you about things that you did together. They will misquote you to yourself. If you disagree with them, they'll say you're lying, making stuff up, or are crazy." (sound like anyone we know?)
THE SMARTEST, MOST TALENTED, ALL-AROUND BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD TEST:
NEXT STOP, THE TWILIGHT ZONE: THE PARANOID EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE CHECKLIST
True or false? Score one point for each true answer.
1. THIS PERSON IS OVERLY SUSPICIOUS.
2. THIS PERSON HAS VERY FEW CLOSE FRIENDS.
3. THIS PERSON CAN MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING.
4. THIS PERSON TENDS TO SEE MANY SITUATIONS AS STRUGGLES BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL.
5. THIS PERSON NEVER SEEMS TO LET GO OF A HURT OR MISTREATMENT.
6. THIS PERSON SELDOM TAKES WHAT HE OR SHE IS TOLD AT FACE VALUE.
7. THIS PERSON WILL CUT PEOPLE OUT OF HIS OR HER LIFE FOR TINY SLIGHTS.
8. THIS PERSON IS ABLE TO DETECT DECEPTION IN ONE OR TWO PARTS PER BILLION, AND SOMETIMES SEES IT WHEN IT ISN'T THERE AT ALL.
9. THIS PERSON DEMANDS ABSOLUTE LOYALTY IN THOUGHT AND DEED.
10. THIS PERSON IS FIERCELY PROTECTIVE OF HIS OR HER FAMILY. (OR ONE OR TWO CLOSE FRIENDS)
11. THIS PERSON SEES CONNECTIONS AMONG THINGS THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD CONSIDER UNRELATED.
12. THIS PERSON SEES LITTLE MISTAKES, SUCH AS LACK OF PUNCTUALITY OR FORGETTING INSTRUCTIONS, AS INDICATIONS OF DISLOYALTY OR DISRESPECT.
13. THIS PERSON TELLS PEOPLE WHAT OTHERS ONLY SAY BEHIND THEIR BACKS.
14. THIS PERSON MAY HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR, BUT CANNOT SEEM TO LAUGH AT HIM OR HERSELF.
15. WHAT WILL MAKE THIS PERSON ANGRY SEEMS COMPLETELY UNPREDICTABLE.
16. THIS PERSON SEES HIM OR HERSELF AS A VICTIM OF MULTIPLE DISCRIMINATIONS.
17. THIS PERSON BELIEVES TRUST IS SOMETHING THAT HAS TO BE EARNED.
18. THIS PERSON HAS TAKEN ILL CONSIDERED ACTIONS “ON PRINCIPLE”.
19. THIS PERSON OFTEN TALKS ABOUT SUING PEOPLE TO REDRESS WRONGS.
20. THIS PERSON QUESTIONS PEOPLE TO DETERMINE THEIR LOYALTY AND FIDELITY.
21. THIS PERSON COLLECTS LITTLE DETAILS THAT SEEM TO PROVE HIS OR HER PET THEORIES.
22. THIS PERSON BELIEVES IN THE LITERAL INTERPRETATION OF THE BIBLE OR OTHER RELIGIOUS TEXT.
23. THIS PERSON BELIEVES IN UFO’S, ASTROLOGY, PSYCHIC PHENOMENA OR OTHER CONCEPTS THAT MOST PEOPLE CONSIDER TO BE ON THE FRINGE OF CREDIBILITY.
24. THIS PERSON OPENLY ADVOCATES CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT FOR CERTAIN CLASSES OF PEOPLE. (e.g. THEY SHOULD TAKE ALL THE BIGOTS AND . . .)
25. THOUGH I WON'T ALWAYS ADMIT IT, THIS PERSON IS SOMETIMES EMBARRASSINGLY CORRECT IN HIS OR HER ASSESSMENT OF ME.
Scoring: Five or more true answers qualifies the person as a Paranoid Emotional Vampire, though not necessarily for a diagnosis of Paranoid Personality. With twelve or more true answers, watch out for Imperial storm-troopers.
For more follow the link, it's a fantastic web site.