Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Funnies from a friend

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to
wash his Sweat-
shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room,
he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the
washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your
shirt?"
He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."

And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the
world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says
as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you
think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn
like this?"
"P rob ably that I married you for your money," she
replied.
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He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,
sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their
special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been so good that each one of them
could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her
husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in
her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years
younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to
forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because,
Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping
for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the
toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your
e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
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Send this to at least five bright, funny women you
know and make their day!
And send this to five bright men who have enough sense
of humor to take it!

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